 |
PatchWork |
|
PatchWork |
Last Updated 09/06/05
Email: joy@our-town.com
Kids Say the Darnest Things
"Kids Say the Darnest Things" was the title of a popular television show in the days of Art Linkletter and later in a semi-revival starring Bill Cosby. I enjoyed both shows and always related those cute comments to my own children, grandchildren, and now great-grandchildren.
Most parents could very well write their own books listing things their children say because as little children they often get the true meanings of phrases mixed up. This is especially true of songs where the words and phrases sometimes don't make sense in the first place or else the singers are careless with their pronunciation.
Therefore such phrases as, "gladly the cross I'd bear" easily becomes "Gladly, the cross-eyed bear" to a four year old.
When a preacher stands in the pulpit and asks the congregation to come and "worship the Lord" a small child's voice asks "are we going to wash up the Lord?"
Not all the funny stuff comes out of the mouths of babes. There is the story about a nativity scene in a Southern town where the three wise men were all decked out in fireman's helmets. According to one local woman that was because the Bible clearly stated that "The three wise men came from afar."
Yogi Berra made a career out baseball and then wrote a book with a collection of his malapropisms. "It's deja vu all over again" is a classic. Other sayings of Yogi's that make us laugh include, "It's never happened in world series history and it hasn't happened since." "Never answer an anonymous letter" when asked about a popular bottled drink, "Is Yoo-Hoo hyphenated?" Yogi responded, "No ma'am, it isn't even carbonated!"
To many of us the gaffs politicians make are the absolute funniest, probably because we secretly like to see that people in high places are no greater than we are. They make mistakes too and make statements they'd like to take back. Now during the eighth of the campaign season, consider these goof-ups of past presidents and presidential candidates.
President George Bush.. "I have opinions of my own, strong opinions, but I don't always agree with them."
President Calvin Coolidge.. "When a great many people are unable to find work, unemployment is the result."
Vice-Presidential Candidate Dan Quayle.. "I stand by all the misstatements that I have made."
President Bill Clinton..."It depends upon what the meaning of the word `is' is."
President Richard Nixon.."When the President does it, that means that it's not illegal."
President Dwight Eisenhower.."Things are more like they are now than ever before."
Sometimes the words we hear from the mouths of those interviewed make us laugh because they challenge the way we think.
Dolly Partain..."I am not offended by `dumb blonde' jokes because I know I'm not blonde."
Wendy Liebman..."I've been on so many blind dates, I should get a free dog."
Erma Bombeck..."Never lend your car to anyone to whom you have given birth."
Erica Jong.."You see a lot of smart guys with dumb women, but you hardly ever see a smart woman with a dumb guy."