| A Word Edgewise
by Mary Joe Clendenin |
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FRIENDLY SMILES AND HANDSHAKES COME EASY TO SOME
During political seasons, shaking hands and speaking to people seems to be the style. We become a little suspicious about overly friendly people thinking they are running for some political office, or are working for a politician.
Most everyone in this part of the country knows what a friendly fellow my husband Ray is. If you haven't experienced his friendly smile and handshake, its because he hasn't seen you yet, just give him time. He'll get around to you soon--and he's not even politicking.
In church, Ray is known as the fellow always looking for his wife. As we enter and he makes his rounds of speaking to everyone, I go on in and take a seat. When he finally gets through visiting, he begins looking for me. Lois Henson, or some other kind soul usually points him in the right direction.
Then, as likely as not, he steps on Charles Allen's foot getting in to my side. Charles hides the other foot under the bench and smiles bravely. I've been advised by some to wear bright colors so he can find me before the song leader begins. I do.
When our daughter was growing up, his friendliness was a great source of embarrassment to her. Never seeing a stranger when they were in a public place, he would walk up to a friend he hadn't met and begin a conversation. Melissa would pretend she didn't even know him sometimes. In the small village of Cloudcroft, New Mexico, like here in Erath county, Ray waved at anyone he happened to meet or pass in the car. Our sons would duck down between the seats lest they appear so forward, and Melissa would turn her head.
The recipients of such friendliness did not always return the gestures with enthusiasm. But, if they did not know Ray, they were curious. Once, on the outskirts of a little town west of here, as they drove along slowly in the speed zone, Ray waved and turned to look at a man sitting on a porch watching the occasional car go by. The man, evidently, thought Ray was some lost friend. Not only did he stare, a glance in the rear view mirror showed him coming out in the road to get a better look at the car to determine who Ray was. (Ray would have said, "Oh, we went to different schools together.")
My dad, Joe Fitzgerald, on the other hand, was much more reticent. The story was told that one time when his brother Thad came to see him, dad was sitting on the front porch reading the paper. He didn't stop reading. Thad picked up a part of the paper and read also. When the paper was finished dad said, "Well, how have you been, Thad?" And the visiting began.
On other occasions, dad could be very forward when he chose. He embarrassed my sister and me one time when we went to Washington, D.C. I would have been about ten years old. As we toured the capitol building, he in his usual attire, which looked slouchy at best, picked out the most important, politician-looking fellow, dressed in fancy attire he could locate. Then, dad went up to him as if he were some long lost friend, and pretended to know him. The poor man was afraid to ignore, or "high hat" that country hick who might be an important constituent. Truth is dad was very politically minded and just might have been somewhat influential for a politician to know. Be we were embarrassed by his forwardness.
It takes all kinds of people to make this interesting world turn. I'm not inclined to be as friendly as Ray--have to make a real effort to be out-going. But that doesn't mean that I value people and friendship less. It just means that I lack the finesse, or skill, or nerve, or whatever to risk offering myself so readily. As long as Ray is my better half, we strike a happy medium. I appreciate that, as well as a host of other things about this man I have been married to for more than 50 years.
MERRY CHRISTMAS TO ALL--MAY PEACE AND GOODWILL ABIDE!