A Word Edgewise |
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A Word Edgewise |
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Last Updated 01/20/06
For more literature go
to Clendenin Books
Email: mjclen@our-town.com
I'M OLD ENOUGH TO WEAR PURPLE
Recently, there was an article in the Telegram about the Red Hat Society, a
club with no rules, no official purpose, for women who no longer cared what
others thought of them. The idea is based on a poem by Jenny Joseph,
entitled "Warning." It begins
"When I am an old woman I shall wear purple
With a red hat that doesn't go and doesn't suit
me,
And I shall spend my pension on brandy and summer gloves
And satin sandals, and say we've no money for butter.
I shall sit down
on the pavement when I'm tired
And gobble up samples in shops and press
alarm bells
And run my stick
along the public railings
And make up for the sobriety of my youth.
I shall go out in my slippers in the rain
And pick the flowers in other peoples gardens
And learn to spit.."
It's the attitude that I admire. It spells independence and affirmation. It
speaks of optimism and finding fun in life. In those words I hear a woman
who probably had to conform to the expectations of others for many years.
Now she is following her heart. I'm all for that and so are many other older
women.
A book, Enduring Women, by Diane Koos Gentry, is the story of ten women who
do not fit the mold of what is expected of women; of the life most women
would choose, or others would choose for them. Most of the ten in the book
were born in poverty, never had much in the way of luxury, but envied no
one. Nora Dott Warren was a featured woman.
Nora and husband Buddy lived in San Antonio where Buddy worked as a
millwright for one company for twenty-four years, and Nora as a bookkeeper
until their three children were adults. Then they sold their home and
followed their dream of an independent life-style-fishing and shrimping on
the Texas coast. They bought a shrimp boat and a trailor house and learned
the vigorous demands, the rewards and losses imposed by the sea, with
plentiful harvests some years and scarcity in others. Nora said, "We were
lucky to find the one thing that satisfies us. Most people never do."
After some years of their independent life and enjoyment of grandchildren
who shared their joy of the sea, Nora got very ill. She had severe diabetes
and high blood pressure. Doctors gave her little hope when she was 49 years
old. But Buddy and Nora didn't give up. Both were from dysfunctional
families. "We both had this need to love someone who loved us back..That's
the object in life, I guess, to find someone who will love you even when you
are mean and ugly, hateful, snotty, worn out, and sick, or contrary," said
Nora. She lived the rough sea life for more years.
Another woman featured in the book, was Gladys Milton, practical nurse in
the hospital and mid-wife on the side. Gladys was always in demand, covering
six counties in her native Florida as mid-wife. She was one of the few
licensed midwives left and the only one who's also a nurse, serving both
white and black women.
"I've been accused of thinking too big. I do. I don't think I deserve
anything but the best, and I've instilled that into my children I have no
patience with people who don't try. I'd beat my head up against the wall
before I'd give up on anything." Said Gladys.
Gladys Milton was a big woman who wore shoes size 12 B. "We all leave
footprints in the sands of time. I really want to leave impressionable
ones." She looked at her feet and laughed. "I know I'm going to leave big
footprints! I just hope they are good ones. I want to do things that will
live in people's hearts long after I'm gone. .I think the highest tribute
you can make about a person is to say that she was kind, loved people, and
helped them out."
Gladys and some of the other women in this book, Copyright 1988, may be
gone now, but I'll bet they were useful for many years past the accepted
retirement age of 65 . That attitude which I admire was well stated by
Gladys when she said, I've been discouraged, but I'll never give up. God
wants me to alleviate the situation down here and deliver his babies as I
was called to do. I intend to do his will as long as I'm able, until the
Lord says, 'That's enough!' I've got a lot more mileage in me."
Right on, Gladys and Nora, and all the others. I hope you have a red hat
and purple dress-it that's what you want.